Thank you for joining me on Wednesday. We covered quite a bit in 45 minutes, so I wanted to put the ideas in one place and share a few ways you might explore them in your own business and life.
You don’t need to read through all of it (unless you want to of course). Just scan for what resonates and have a read.
And remember the deal we made. Nothing here is intended to be critical of where we’ve come from or how we’re travelling right now. We’re drawing on these insights to help us move forward in a way that truly suits us.
These are general ideas, and I haven’t considered your personal situation. If you’d like to discuss what any of them mean for you, just send me a message.
From our Kill The Chameleon chat
1. What drains your energy?
Pages 59–62 · Chapter 2: Clarity
From Uncertain to Clear
Some work is challenging but energising. Other work leaves us depleted, even when we’re good at it. Noticing the difference can tell us a lot about how to shape our days and our business. We can also look at the flip side of what drains us to discover what gives us energy. It’s important to acknowledge these things can change over time.
Think of an activity that regularly drains you. Could you eliminate, automate, delegate or outsource some of it? If not, could you simplify it, limit how long you spend on it, or schedule it for a time when you have more capacity?
You could start by noticing what leaves you tired over the course of a week. No knee-jerk reactions, though. Look at it from a few angles. Exploring your personality, values and moral compass can help you understand why certain things are tiring. The reflective questions at the end of Chapter 2 may help too.
2. Compassion first
Pages 119–122 · Chapter 4: Interaction
From Frustrated to Connected
We talked about how people are generally doing the best they can with their own Pandora’s box of conditioning from our upbringing, social environment, values, personality, likes, dislikes and fears.
Remembering this can free us from some of the frustration we carry about other people’s behaviour. It becomes easier to stay curious about their perspective. It doesn’t mean lowering our standards or expectations. It can help us understand what someone needs to succeed, or whether the work they’re responsible for suits them at all.
Frustration can also tell us something about ourselves. What were you hoping for in that moment? What mattered to you that didn’t seem to matter as much to the other person?
These insights can lead to better conversations and/or a practical change, such as setting clearer expectations with a client, changing how a team works together, or reconsidering the kinds of work and relationships we keep taking on.
We also connected compassion for others with compassion for ourselves (pages 10–12, Chapter 1: Self-respect). Remember the commentary team in our heads and how harsh they can sometimes be?
3. Chapters happen
Pages 165–166 · Chapter 5: Progression
From Stuck to Moving
What suited you in one chapter of business or life may not suit you in another. An activity that once brought energy might now feel draining. A pace that was right when you were establishing your business may no longer be right today.
Take a look at your commitments and ways of working. Which still feel right for this chapter? Is there anything you could reduce, release or approach differently?
Changing course doesn’t mean the earlier chapter was a mistake. It may have served you well at the time. Even so, letting go of something you once depended on for success can be scary.
On page 13, I share a client’s question: “When the devil goes, will the angels go as well?” He was wondering whether he could let go of the relentless pressure he placed on himself and still be successful. We can find better balance and composure, and still achieve a lot. I’ve helped clients make this shift many times.
Sometimes it helps to slow down and notice how a way of working feels, rather than trying to think your way through a decision straight away. If something no longer feels right, it’s probably worth listening to that instinct.
4. Manage your tempo
Pages 17–19 · Chapter 1: Self-respect. See also “Measured growth” on pages 91–93 in Chapter 3: Alignment.
From Overwhelmed to Composed
It’s worth noticing the speed you’re trying to operate at, and what’s setting that pace. There may be genuine cashflow pressure. There may also be habits that keep you rushing even when there’s no immediate pressure.
In our conversation, I mentioned a client who changed how she began her day. She found she could still get through what mattered, but with more ease because the pace of her day suited her better.
Could you begin your day differently, leave more room between commitments, or make a clearer decision about when work finishes? Once we understand our capacity, we can make practical choices about how to design our days and our business around it. A small change to your tempo can affect how the whole week feels.
Business and life are more like a marathon than an endless sprint.
5. Acceptance
Pages 175–182 · Chapter 6: Acceptance
From Restless to Settled
Acceptance can sound removed from the practical work of running a business. I see it as a starting point for making clearer decisions.
We can know that a particular kind of work drains us, that our energy has changed, or that a way of operating no longer suits us, and still keep trying to push past it. When we acknowledge what’s true, we can start asking what’s right for us now, and what we can do about it.
That might confirm that our services, clients, team, working hours and expectations suit us well. Or it might show us a few things we’d like to change.
If you’ve been struggling with something, acceptance can be uncomfortable. But it gives us a clearer place to begin than denial.
It also means accepting that you have a style of your own. That style can shape how you design and deliver your services, how you talk about your work, and the people you choose to work with. It creates space for more of you to come through in your business and life.
A few people raised how closely our identity can become tied to our business or career.
When this happens we get caught up more easily in the highs and lows. When things are going well, we can feel competent and accomplished. When they aren’t, we can feel inadequate.
The more we identify with what we do, how we do it, and how successful we are, the harder it is to change direction or our approach when it’s time to do so.
We’re more than what we do or the successes we have. We can still enjoy these things, but loosening our grip on that identity can help.
Here’s one way I think about it: you existed before your business, and you would still be you if you had to close it or choose a different path tomorrow. In my eyes, you would be no less worthy than you are today. What we do matters, and it gives us a way to share what we care about with others. But it isn’t the whole of who we are.
A bit more on identity
Beyond where the book goes
Next step
Pick one idea that feels relevant to you and give it some time and consideration. Notice where it shows up in your week, and be curious about its impact. You may find something you’d like to change, embrace or experiment with.
In more than 20 years of mentoring small business owners, I’ve often seen small tweaks make the biggest difference. Knowing which tweak to make is usually the hard part. That’s why I’d encourage you to take your time and avoid knee-jerk change.
I hope this helps recap and refresh what we discussed, and gives you a few practical ways to draw on it.
If you’d like to talk through what any of these ideas mean for you, just send me a message. I’m happy to offer a one-to-one, half-hour debrief at no cost or obligation. Bring whatever questions you have so we can make good use of the time.
You may also like to try my 6 Stages quiz. It’s a three-minute reflection tool connected to the six chapters of the book. It’s still new, and I’m testing it out, so I’d love to hear what you think if you choose to do it.
And if you’d like to stay in touch, you can join my newsletter.
Thanks again for coming along on Wednesday. I hope the conversation was of value to you, along with these notes.